Review of Touching Wonder by John Blasé

Touching Wonder: Recapturing the Awe of Christmas by John Blase

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This book was a pleasure to read. Blasé is concerned that many have lost the sense of wonder of the nativity, and so this book is a bold attempt at reclaiming our lost appreciation of the humanness of the events described. Blase takes on several characters and retells the story with vivid imagination--and many of the characters are not who you would expect. Throughout the background of this story is another story of someone dealing with doubt and faith--you will find them to be engaging, and at the end of each section. The artistic embellishments to the text of Scripture must be taken with a grain of salt, as you consider the possible reactions of angelic visitors. I found myself agreeing with most of the interpretive moments. I've never liked the 'mother-of-God' description for Mary, because of the potential for theological drift, but this is a minor annoyance. I've included an excerpt below for those who might like to catch a sample of the narrative style.  I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did.

"The theologians have rendered us mindless God-slaves, wisps of cloudy wings, doing nothing but the bidding of the Mighty One. Theologians. There is much they do not know. I found her just as He said she would be found: sitting on her bedding, barefooted, knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, chin resting on her knee-tops. I saw why she had gained the favor of the Mighty One. I liked this daughter-of-Eve-to-be-the-mother-of-God.

But how? I’ve never slept with a man.

I expected this. But unlike that old priest’s, hers was not the doubting of a skeptic but rather the wondering of a child.

But how? I can’t see it.

‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Highest hover over you. Mary, you have nothing to fear.’ The Mighty One had expressly said, ‘Herald the news, Gabriel. Don’t report it.’ I would have liked to elaborate further, but Mary would have to live out the details of my news in days to come. Truth not lived is not truth.

Then she paused and looked away. I have spoke to many of God’s children and their eyes are always transfixed on me. They should be. I am Gabriel, the sentinel of God. But Mary’s gaze wandered for a moment. But what I initially took for a distracted mind was rather a devoted heart.

Her eyes returned to me. “Let it be with me.” Ah, the Mighty One had chosen well. Her words were not resigned, but faith-full. The faith of a child. Of such is the Might One’s kingdom.

“Cousin Elizabeth? Really? Old Elizabeth? But How?”

I laughed. “Nothing, you see, is impossible with God. Mary, you have nothing to fear. I have told you all you need to know for now. You are more ready than you realize, stronger than you know. God is with you. Now I must go.”

But I did not want to go. Faith is rare, at least true faith. Yes, the word is often used, but the reality is hard to find. Yet here I found it, in an earthen vessel surrounded by an earthen room. I like Mary.

I left her just as He said I would: barefooted, sitting on her bedding, knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, chin resting on her knee-tops. She looked older now. Human eyes would not recognize this, but mine have seen much.

The Mighty One had revealed glimpses to me, what days ahead would hold for this glorious girl. Her cousin’s leaping womb. Joseph’s broad shoulders. The back of a borrowed burro. Herods’ jealous-red face. The cries of the innocent. The breath of stable animals. The agony of pushing the Mighty One out into this world.

I found myself praying for the favored one. Mary had so much to carry."




View all my reviews

Petraeus and Healthy Jealousy

Adultery. 

The word has a nasty feel, doesn’t it? It is nasty, because it is a violation of the highest trust.  The intimacy, the shared thoughts, dreams, passions, and physical joy are shattered through a deception of the most dispicable kind. 

It is sad when the mighty fall; unfortunately, the distance from top to bottom is shorter than what most would think and even worse, the impact at the bottom is much more than one would hope. 

I took some time this week to catch up on the Petraeus scandal.  As I listened to a brief interview with a close friend of Petraeus, he shared the ‘slow fade’ that occurred in the heart of Petraeus.  The transition from military to civilian, was a difficult move for Petraeus, and as he was struggling with the transition, the emptiness of loss of the brotherhood was great for him, and he found that his biographer Paula Broadwell was all to happy to go running with him and listen empathetically.  These things don't happen overnight.  If both Petraeus and his wife had a bit of healthy marital jealousy for one another through the years, it may have done their marriage a world of good. 

You might be surprised by this, because most people think of jealousy as exclusively negative —and it is—with a couple of exceptions.  There are two relationships in which jealousy is both healthy and honorable.  Both of these are covenant relationships.  The first relationship is a smaller version of the second.  The second is our covenant relationship with a spouse, and our first is our covenant relationship with God. 

In James 4:1-10, the apostle uses the relationship with our spouses as the paradigm for which we understand our covenant relationship with our heavenly father.  

Of these ten verses, verses 4-5 are the wheel within the wheel.  

4 You adulterous people!  Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

Typically the Greek word for jealousy in verse 5 is used exclusively as a negative.  So for James to use it in the context of God’s emotions is shocking.  Commentators are divided as to the reason for this, but I am inclined to believe that James does so for emphasis and effect.  

God created us, so therefore, he owns us.  For those who have a special bond of grace in their hearts, that is, they have the Holy Spirit indwelling them, there is a union of body, soul and spirit with God, which is best pictured by marriage.  It grieves God's heart to see his creation move away from him for idols, which are worthless, just as it is for spouses to observe a wandering eye, or a flirtatious remark.

Paul uses the marriage image frequently.  In 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 Paul writes these words:

¹² “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. ¹³ “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. ¹⁴ And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. ¹⁵ Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” ¹⁷ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. ¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, ²⁰ for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

As you read these verses, did you notice that what makes sexual immorality so egregious is that we are bought with a price.  At our church, we remind ourselves of this bond liturgically after communion with these words: We are not our own, we are bought with a price, I will glorify God in my body and my spirit which are the Lords. 

Have you ever watched a movie, the well-filmed ones that draw out of us the feelings of jealousy, anger, and resentment as the main character, who to that point, had been honourable, lowers his standard and begins to flirt with someone other than his or her spouse.

Like a well written movie, you can nearly hear a tone of jealousy in Paul’s voice, as he narrates the passion of the Lord as unfaithfulness occurs.  But you must recognize that Paul is not just talking about sexual immorality, verses 12-14 above suggest that even a good thing can become a controlling thing—what we would call an idol.

As I said, there is a healthy form of jealousy, which can protect your marriage from insufferable harm.  But you have to be a good listener—you have to listen carefully to your spouse, and be able to recognize areas in which they are not finding stability and security from you--it often comes out in conflict.  

When time is at a premium, and your spouse feels as though they are missing that time with you, your ears need to wake up and respond to the early indicators of ‘jealousy.’  When you are married, you are no longer your own person, someone else owns you—and they have conjugal rights to time, love, communication, and intimacy.

Did Petraeus or his wife hear those early sounds of jealousy?  It is so common not to hear them, yet those early indicators were intended to let you know that your passions are starting to misalign.  You might not realize this, but this kind of jealousy is a gift of God for you and your marriage.  You should not be surprised that these same feelings of jealousy are exactly the same that God has for you—after all, we are made in the image of God—we have a mirrored personality that comes from our Creator.  Do we hear those early sounds of jealousy?

James asks, What causes wars and conflict among people?  We have conflict in our lives in direct proportion to our misaligned passions.  They are not completely for our heavenly husband—we are more willing to let our thoughts sleep with the idols of our imagination rather than be faithfully returning love to the one who bought us, and redeemed us for his glory and our joy.   In the words of a popular Christian song,

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

The journey from your mind to your hands

Is shorter than you're thinking

Be careful if you think you stand

You just might be sinking

Perhaps you’ve never thought of worldliness and interpersonal conflict in quite this way before, yet in this journey of life, the journey from the mind to the hands is shorter than you think.  The road from joy to grief is shorter than you think, and depending on the damage, your heart will take longer to repair, if it were not for the grace of God (James 4:6-10).

"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?  Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?"

The Common Rope

Edited by Steve Fountain. From a sermon on November 11, 2012

The last few verses of Joshua 21 prepared us for the commencement of life after war.  Because of the faithfulness of God to keep his promises — including the land He promised to their fathers — it is Israel’s natural response to gratefully be faithful to God in return.

Chapter 22 starts with the Reubenites, Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh heading home to their inheritance. Back in Numbers 32, prior to the crossing of the Jordan, these 2 ½  tribes asked Moses for land on the other side of the River. Moses said, “The west side still has to be taken.  Are you going to stay here in peace while your brothers who fought for you have to go on in war?”  

Those fighting men responded, “We’ll go with the rest and fight as long as the war is on.”  And Moses said, “Good.  Then all is well.”

Seven years have past since these men went to fight. They have been separated from their wives, their families, their inheritance. With the campaigns were over and the land divided, it was time to go home.

Joshua sends them off with words of wisdom and warning:“Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.” (22:5)

As we reach verse 10, the 2 ½  tribes build an altar by the Jordan. The well-intentioned act instead spurs the western tribes to worry about a rebellion against the unifying altar in Shiloh. 

By verse 12, “... the whole congregation of the children of Israel gathered together at Shiloh to go to war against them.”

Did you catch the last few words of verse 12? They were prepared to go to war with their friends over this issue. Why? 

There is only one explanation. Although they loved their brothers to the east and were certainly tired of fighting, they nevertheless loved the honor of God more and were determined to let nothing intrude on that honor of God more.

In the verses that follow, there is a conversation between brethren that results in a happy ending.  I say a conversation, because it was a delegation of 10 men from the west who were sent to talk with the leaders of the east side.  In verses 13-20, the men from the west go and inquire what is going on.  In verses 21-29, the tribes on the east side respond.  In verses 30-34, war is avoided and faithfulness to God is preserved.  How was this possible? 

I believe that the flow of their conversation demonstrates that because they loved God so supremely, it moved them to ensure that the holiness of God would not be compromised and in a way that ensured a lasting relationship.  The love they had for God was such that it caused them to love their neighbor, too.  

It is important to recognize that there is humility on both sides of this conversation.  In presenting to the Eastern tribes the way they saw the situation, the Western tribes allowed a gentle explanation.  

The courage to go and find out the truth was done with a courageous love and was met with a courageous humility.  

Sadly, we don’t even take the necessary steps find out answers for ourselves.  We stew on things until the water boils dry.  Or we talk to people we think will be sympathetic to our cause or viewpoint, or share a ‘prayer request’ with them.  If we would take the bold steps of love shown to us in these verses then we have less messes.

Make no mistake! For unity to be that good, that sweet, we must guard the glory of God.  

We cannot have a false unity around error, we must be like the West, and ensure that our brothers are remaining faithful to God, when we go, we must do so with a spirit of love, or all will be lost.  We must grip the common rope of God’s faithfulness and be faithful.

A Modesty Survey, Crazy eh?

TheRebelution.com has launched the results of their massive Modesty Survey! Over 1,600 Christian guys have answered questions on everything from glitter lotion and lip gloss to swimsuits and skirt slits! It's everything girls have ever wanted to ask guys about modesty, but were afraid to ask! For guys, it's really interesting to see what other Christian guys think!

Most importantly, the survey is presented as a resource to help Christian girls (and guys), not a list of legalistic rules, and it is accompanied by the Modesty Survey Petition (which tons of guys have signed) which encourage young women to focus on the heart, not the hemline, to honor their parents, etc.

The results were released on St. Valentine's Day as a gift from 1,600 Christian guys to all Christian girls -- and I can't think of a better one! Now the survey is being endorsed by people like Shaunti Feldhahn ("For Women Only") Nancy Leigh DeMoss (Revive Our Hearts), CJ Mahaney (Sovereign Grace Ministries) and Shannon Ethridge ("Every Woman's Battle")!

Click on the banner above to see the survey results, etc.

Book Giveaway Winners

Congratulations to Andrew Arden and Jonathan Davis.  Since I've not heard from Jonathan, I've passed on to Matthew Kratz  

They will receive 1 free copy in the mail of Heart of the Matter directly from New Growth Press.  Hope that this book will be a blessing to you over the coming year.  God Bless.

Book Giveaway: Heart of the Matter

Comment below and tell us "why you'd be blessed" by receiving 1 of 2 copies of Heart of the Matter.  And you will be entered into a Random Drawing administered by random.org.  Comments close at 12:00 midnight.  Winners will be notified on Monday, Nov. 12, 2012.  

I blame my first experience with Christian Counselling and Education Foundation (CCEF) on my Senior Pastor who introduced me to the group in the fall of 2009.  I attended my first national conference in King of Prussia, PA with him and his wife.  At the time, I was a bit skeptical because the conference was being advertised as Sex Matters.  Thankfully, at the conference I was exposed not to racy content but to the glorious good news of Jesus Christ as the necessary agent that redeems and transforms the lives of people who have been the victims of a culture stuck in the red light district.  

The national conference was a starting point of what might be a lifelong relationship of trust.  I appreciate the solid, biblical content of the writers and speakers who are involved with CCEF.  

"With this book you have the opportunity to Start a Year of Thoughtful Change.  Change that goes deeper than the surface of our lives happens over the long haul as we dailyremember and connect the truths of the gospel to our lives. Every day we need to be re-minded—in different ways—that Jesus, God’s own Son, came to this world to save us from sin,sorrow, and death. The promises of God, which are all “yes” in Jesus, change the way we viewourselves, our circumstances, and other people." 

Heart of the Matter gives a daily reminder of theselife-changing truths. Topics covered in the devotional include: love, hope, grace, redemption, faith, contentment, conflict, relationships, prayer, fear, patience, humility, and anger.  I highly recommend this book for all who desire to learn wisdom, to learn how to talk to one's heart with Scripture, and to respond properly to the trials of life.  The 366 selections, anchored in Scripture and saturated with the gospel,will help you to:

• Learn how God in his Word addresses a host of life situations
  
• Focus on how the gospel intersects with life
  
• Look beyond circumstances to God’s purposes
  
• See how God values relationship with his children
  
• Learn to value others by speaking truth in love, by not shying away from conflict, by for-giving, and by being patient and persistent
  
• Grow in wisdom when confronted by life’s changes
  
• Learn how God works change that is effective and visible

Contributing authors include David Powilson, Paul David Tripp, Tim Lane, and others.

A Psalm about Relationships

A sample of the powerful daily devotional thoughts available in this book...A full Review of the book will be available on Friday, November 9, 2012.  Free Book Giveaway on Friday

Psalm 146

Why doesn’t God just make your relationships better overnight? We often think that if God really cared for us, he would make our relationships easier. In reality, a difficult relationship is a mark of his love and care.

We would prefer that God would just change the relationship, but he won’t be content until the relationship changes us too. This is how God created relationships to function.

What happens in the messiness of relationships is that our hearts are revealed, our weaknesses are exposed, and we start coming to the end of ourselves. Only when this happens do we reach out for the help God alone can provide. Weak and needy people finding their hope in Christ’s grace are what mark a mature relationship.

The most dangerous aspect of your relationships is not your weakness, but your delusions of strength. Self-reliance is almost always a component of a bad relationship.

While we would like to avoid the mess and enjoy deep and intimate community, God says that it is in the very process of working through the mess that intimacy is found.

On January 16 Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp writes in Heart of the Matter (p 16).  

A Psalm for Stress

A sample of the powerful daily devotional thoughts available in this book...A full Review of the book will be available on Friday, November 9, 2012.  Free Book Giveaway on Friday

 

Psalm 28

If the Lord is near, if he is someone who knows what’s on your heart, who knows what weighs heavily on you and preoccupies you, then he is a hearer of his beloved children.

Many psalms start out by pleading with God—Lord, listen to me, bend your ear, you must hear me, I need you to listen and act on my behalf . These are not calm psalms; they are intense and pointed. In Psalm 28, David tells God that if God doesn’t hear him, he will die. This is faith talking, and David talks this way because God is listening. God’s listening does not guarantee that what is making you anxious will go away— that your financial problems will be solved, that you will be cured of cancer, or that whatever else is worrying you will disappear. You may not be healed, people you love may die, and you may struggle with financial stress. But God comforts, strengthens, and gives hope in the midst of the most difficult circumstances. Jesus did not want to drink the cup of God’s wrath. But God strengthened him, and he was fully willing. There’s help from him for whatever worries you. So when you are anxious pour your heart out to God. He is listening.

On June 14 David Powlison writes in Heart of the Matter (p 166).

Resting Contently

A sample of the powerful daily devotional thoughts available in this book...A full Review of the book will be available on Friday, November 9, 2012.  Free Book Giveaway on Friday

Philippians 4:4–13

God wants you to be content. True contentment is usually learned on the down cycle—in loss, deprivation, and financial need. As your own dreams of financial security are shaken by your circumstances, you have the opportunity to turn from trusting and hoping in material things to trusting and hoping in God. This might not seem so great right now, but think about it: if your contentment is based on what you have or own, it can be easily lost. But contentment based on your relationship with God is on the unshakeable ground of God’s unfailing love.

In Philippians 4:11–13 Paul is saying that true contentment (or lack of it) doesn’t come from our circumstances; true contentment comes from “him who gives me strength.” Because he trusted Jesus, he was at peace in all kinds of material circumstances. He knew that even in times of financial stress he was not missing out on anything essential to life. His identity, hope, and wellbeing did not come from what he owned or what goal he achieved. Rather, it rested on his relationship with his heavenly Father, who loved him and gave his Son for him.

On May 26 Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp writes in Heart of the Matter (p 147).  

Dealing with Anxiety

A sample of the powerful daily devotional thoughts available in this book...A full Review of the book will be available on Friday, November 9, 2012.   Free Book Giveaway on Friday 

Jeremiah 31:31–34

Is the evidence of having forgiven someone forgetting what he has done to you? Jeremiah 31:34 is often quoted, where God says, “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

There are at least two problems with this understanding of forgiveness. First, it is not realistic. Trying to forget a sin someone has committed against you will only encourage you to remember it. Completely erasing an offense from your memory is not realistic. Second, it is not biblical. Our omniscient God does not forget anything! The word “remember” in Jeremiah 31:34 is not a memory word, but a promise word, a covenant word. God is promising that when we confess our sins, “I will not treat you as your sins deserve. Instead, I will forgive you.” Forgiveness is a past promise you keep in the future. It is very important to understand these two dimensions of forgiveness. If you don’t, you will veer off in one of two equally wrong directions: (1) You will be plagued with doubts about whether you have forgiven someone because you think that forgiving equals forgetting.

Or (2) you will give in to bitterness because you think that, since you have forgiven someone in the past, you are allowed to hold onto the vestiges of hurt in the present. Neither reflects the way God has forgiven us.

On June 23 David Powlison writes in Heart of the Matter (p 175).

4 Questions with Vickie Tiede author of When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography

Vicki, this book is set up like a Bible Study, what was it that led you to set it into sections of time?

At one time or another, most of us walk a soggy painful path. In When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography, though I don’t use this analogy, I lead women down the healing path of Emmaus. Many people might not know that Emmaus means "warm springs," and warm springs have long been heralded as a place of healing. I set the book up to create an opportunity for guided discovery, much like the two men on the road to Emmaus experienced.

• I ask her to slow down and fix her thoughts on Him. He will catch up to her in the pages of the book that are saturated with His Word. (I assure her that He walks with her whether she acknowledges Him or not.)
• I ask her to listen to what He’s telling her through His Word and in her stillness– even the gentle rebukes .
• I remind her that when the destination seems to be near, she’s going to want more time with him, so she should invite Him to stay. (He’d never refuse an invitation from His daughter.)
• Finally, when He reveals Himself to her anew, I encourage her to bask in His presence and acknowledge His care for her.

My hope is, that by breaking the book into day/week sections rather than chapters, it will encourage the reader to slow down and really consider what Christ (the Wonderful Counselor) is saying to her. Taking time to apply the questions to her personal life, and writing out the work that is being done in her onto the pages of the book will substantially enhance the healing process.

Are the first person testimonies that are interspersed throughout the chapters 'like real' or 'real'? Do they come from the your focus group discussions with those 25 women mentioned in your introduction?

Every single vignette at the beginning of each chapter is the true story of a woman who has walked this path. They are the direct words of the 25 women who completed extensive surveys as well as interviews. Some of the details of my own story are sprinkled amongst the testimonies as well. It was never my intention to draw unnecessary attention to my story or the story of any one woman, therefore all names have been changed. I want my readers to know that they are not alone and that their feelings have been shared by many other women who have come out on the other side of this pain. The reader and the restorative work that God can and will do in her heart is the focus of When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography.

What advice can you give to pastors who might want to use this book as a resource? How would you recommend using this with women in their church?

Thank you for asking this question, John. So many pastors are well intentioned, but truly do not know how to help women in this situation. First, reading my book himself will certainly expand his understanding of the issue and its implications for the wife of a husband addicted to pornography. I would encourage pastors to have a few copies of the book on hand, so that when she comes in, after counseling and praying with her, he can give her the book to begin working through. There are many options after that.

• If you have a number of women in your church who you are aware would benefit from this book, then perhaps someone could lead a small group.
• The pastor or someone else in the church who does pastoral counseling could meet with her periodically to hear how she is processing through the book.
• I also encourage pastors to be aware of support groups that may already be in existence in their area. It's not news that women are highly relational and having a support group can be a tremendous blessing to them.
• When a woman's heart is healed, regardless of her husband's daily choices, she will be in a better position to help promote a healing environment for her husband as well.

I want to mention that I've written an article about this for pastors, which is available here on my website. It helps pastors know what to say (and what not to say) when a woman comes to see him and her husband is addicted to pornography.

Vicki, if I'm not mistaken, it seems as though "Week 4: Identity" is the crux of the issue for women who are hurt by porn. Am I reading this right, and if so, why do you think identity is so crucial for women to come to terms with?

In weeks 1-3, my hope is that a woman will rediscover hope after learning of her husband's addiction. She'll name her losses and address and eventually surrender unproductive feelings, behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs, including ownership of her husband's daily choice about whether or not to fight this addiction. She'll also spend a week processing through trust, which is one of the single greatest losses for the wife of a pornography addict. Then we get to identity. I do think identity is a particular point of difficulty. Speaking from personal experience, when we were at the pinnacle of our crisis, I was a shell of my former self. I didn't know what I believed about God, my husband, or myself anymore. I allowed my identity to be defined by my relationship with my husband rather than by who God says I am.

When you are married to someone whom you love with all your being and you want to support and believe him, but he lies to you on a consistent basis, it's easy to begin questioning everything you think, say, or do. That quickly morphs into questioning who you are. Women want to know they are competent, chosen, valuable, and lovable in their husband's eyes. Her husband's choice of porn over her communicates just the opposite. It tells her she is inadequate, rejected, undesirable, and unloved. Ironically, if a woman asks her husband if these things are true, he will usually tell her they are not and that his pornography issue has "nothing to do with her." Though I think he means it, actions speak louder than words. It is vital that every daughter of the Lord know that He (God) deems her irreplaceable and that she learn to only let His opinion shape her identity.

When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart by Vicki Tiede

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Vicki Tiede's book entitled "When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart" is a warm, gentle companion for those who are suffering from the carnage of pornography. Vicki's use of Scripture passages are well selected, and sensitive. Happily, none of the verses used are cliche and they cover the fullness of the canon (my one regret about this book is the absence of a Scripture index). Her compassion seeps through these pages, even when she offers correction and/or encouragement.



She warns readers in the introduction that this book is not a book to 'fix' one's husband, and neither is it for those who are at the extreme end of sexual perversion-which has led to violence and/or extra-marrital affairs. Although, this book will be beneficial for the extremes, she recommends other resources and pastoral counselling to address these issues.

I picked this book up because I wanted to get a better understanding of how women cope under the weight of betrayal. With fear and trembling, I acknowledge that by God's grace alone, I'm in the other fifty percent of men who do not have a porn addiction (on page 102, Vicki cites a breathtaking statistic that about 20% of Christian women and 50% of Christian men have a pornography addiction). Knowing that porn is a nightmare for a lot of people, I hoped to understand the crisis better. The realism of sin is first-hand for the author, as well as the hope and healing she has experienced through her Redeemer.

The book is divided up into sections of time, which for some people, will be very helpful. If read daily, a person could work through the Bible study that is interspersed in 6 weeks. In the first three weeks, Vicki re-establishes hope in God, surrender to God and learning to trust the One who can heal. The forth week is the heart of the book as it helps you recognize your true identity. In the last two sections, she helps the reader understand the value of brokenness in the plan of God, and then how forgiveness works itself out.

We all need hope, and the first person sections of the book, are intended to let you know that others have walked your road before, and have recovered. Here are a few excerpts:

I believe God is able to meet my greatest needs as I deal with my husband’s addiction to pornography, and that he is in the process of doing that even now, but I’m not sure exactly what that looks like . . . sounds like . . . feels like. Most of the time I feel hopeless and overwhelmed. There are occasions when I feel a glimmer of hope that “better” is possible, but it’s rare. —Amy

Until my husband and I attempted to refinance our home, I had no idea about several credit cards he had opened, with charges in the tens of thousands. For years, those bills had been going to a post office box, which was also news to me. My husband worked a lot and traveled often, and I knew something was wrong in our relationship, but I never dreamed he might be addicted to pornography or that his addiction had grown to include paying for sex with prostitutes.  Despite all of this, I know that God is for me. He is all powerful and able to meet my needs, often before I even know what they are. God can do anything— even repair this marriage. —Hannah

In the course of pornographic destruction on a marriage, most women will tend to loose their sense of identity. This is the highlight of this book, as Tiede helps women recognize that they get their true identity in the eyes of God alone. Most women want to be pursed and chosen, and if they are believers, Vickie shows them that they have been.

Vicki's viewpoint on forgiveness might be different than what some have been taught through the years. Tiede is careful to differentiate an attitude of forgiveness and the act of forgiveness. The act of forgiveness, according to Vickie, should only be granted to those who are repentant as Christ forgives the repentant. Yet, the attitude of forgiveness should always be on hand to extend to those who are genuinely repentant. There is safety in this position.

I highly recommend this book for all women who have felt the destructive power of pornography. If you purchase this book, take time to talk with a trusted Christian friend for support and prayer. You not only need the help offered in these pages, you also need fellow believers to be instruments in the redeemer's hands.



View all my reviews

Review of Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson's book called Give Them Grace is encouraging for parents at all stages. The continual reminder of God's grace pushes the reader to lean harder on God in parenting, as they patiently address the needs of little pagans who are in need of God's grace.

This is probably the first parenting book that I have read that consistently applies the gospel story to parenting. While it does not negate the need for instruction, discipline, and correction, it happily affirms that these alone will not convert a child's heart. Parents know this instinctively, yet we often falter in the moment and forget to extend grace to our children.

The strength of this book is not in the how to--although, it does contain very helpful examples of in the moment grace-parenting--it's strength is in the affirmation that it is through grace alone that God redeems both prodigals and pharisees. "The only power strong enough to transform the selfishly rebellious and the selfishly self-righteous heart is grace" (p. 68). Throughout the book there is a continual reminder that if we as parents consistently throw ourselves on God's mercy, we will help our children place their hope in him too. We cannot teach our children grace, if we don't think that we need it as much as they do.

The book does recommend alternative parenting techniques for varying situations--therefore, there is realism implicit within these pages as well. I really appreciate that an older and younger mother conspired together to write this book, so that generational wisdom is available to us. As a dad reading this book, I was blessed and encouraged. I recommend that you pick it up for yourself, or even an unbelieving friend. The gospel is woven throughout, and may encourage someone to consider the practical implications of an alternative worldview, and discover God's grace.




View all my reviews

Taking Possession of our Inheritance

Edited by Steve Fountain from a sermon preached on September 30, 2012.

Last week we were flying at about 30,000 feet over Joshua 13-19 and got a good sense of our  imperishable, undefiled and unfading inheritance — God Himself.

When we come down from the clouds and the wheels of the plane screech against the tarmac, do God's promises appear wild because of disbelief; or do they become real, vivid and priceless?  

Joshua had been the fearless leader for Israel, and now it's up to the 12 tribes to divide and conquer — but this was soon to change.  The Israelites had been given a promise in Joshua 13:6 that God would drive out the enemy before them.  They had been instructed to go, divide the land, and in the strength of God possess their inheritance. 

Yet, they simply did not take hold of the promises of God. 

I would like to compare two contrasting attitudes: Joseph's reluctance and Judah's boldness. 

There is a lesson here for all of us in trusting in God and gaining your inheritance instead of seeking what appears to be the easiest path to satisfy your own desires.     

Because the tribe of Joseph didn't follow God's instruction to drive out the Canaanites, they could not expand to the north and west. And forests hindered expansion elsewhere.  In Joshua 17:14, the people of Joseph actually ask God for more land! Their inability to conquer the land stems from their ingratitude, and they falter on the promises of God. Because of their ingratitude, they actually challenge the outcome of the lot, which was controlled by God — and so were actually challenging God by suggesting that perhaps God was not good to them.

To be content with what God has given is a sure statement that you believe God’s promises to give you everything you need.

Listen to the wisdom of Joshua in verse 15 as he deconstructs their conceit.  Joshua says, instead of looking at the problems, consider your opportunities — clear the trees so you can have pasture and farm land. But instead they come up with another excuse in verse 16, suggesting that the Canaanite's iron chariots are way too much for them.

The people of God did not go on to do what God told them to do for two reasons.  First, they wanted peace at any cost and they also wanted wealth.  They picked getting money (tribute) from the Canaanites to let them stay in the land instead of driving them out. Through the time of the judges and beyond, the Israelites slowly lost ground because they had not possessed their possessions on the basis of God’s promise.

While Joseph demonstrates reluctance, Judah demonstrates a bold faith that lays hold of the promises of God.  This bold faith is highlighted in one family — the family of Caleb.  Caleb is singled out as an object lesson of someone who, because of gratitude and persistence, took possession of his inheritance because he held onto the promises of God. 

You may remember that Caleb and Joshua were among the12 spies under Moses, who,  years earlier had been the only two who believed God’s promises.  (Numbers 13:30)  When the campaigns had broken the heart of the land, Caleb (now 85) came to Joshua and said, “Now by faith I’m going to do what I said all along could be done.”  What a man!  Here he was, out of step among a people who, for the sake of peace and wealth, were not continuing the warfare.  

Caleb followed the Lord and actually went up and claimed his land — he fought for it and won it and proved what he had believed for many long years.   

Yet you might be tempted to think.  I could never be like that?  And actually, you would be right — you cannot.  In fact, we can only attack mountains, or move mountains by faith that God’s power, his grace are what gets the job done.  Like Israel, we are called upon to possess our inheritance, too. 

This is where the rubber meets the road — either we crash and burn, or we live for Christ. Either we have faith or not.  We can talk of all the great things we have to look forward to in heaven, but if we do not live as though we have heaven now in our hearts, then the promises of God are nothing.  If the promises of God are wild and sound distant, then we need to stop and take stock.  We must ask for forgiveness and begin to believe God and begin boldly living by faith.

What Does Your Inheritance Look Like?

Edited by Steve Fountain.  From a sermon preached on September 23, 2012. 

Most Christians probably fail to realize the magnitude of the inheritance that they already have in Jesus Christ.

Perhaps due to a lack of teaching or spiritual awareness, I’ve not had a real understanding of the biblical teaching regarding our Spiritual Inheritance throughout my Christian experience.

After witnessing the entering the land (1-4) and the taking of the land (5-12), we are going to witness the possessing of the land.  Inheritance is what chapters 13-21 are all about.  The word “inheritance” appears 52 times in Joshua 13-21. 

To avoid blog blackout, let's bypass the chapter-by-chapter approach in favor of a fly over at 30,000 feet. As we look down upon the regions of the Promised Land, my desire is to trace the infinite value of a believer’s inheritance. Given the current election season, perhaps our ears are more alert for wild promises. But, unlike a candidate, God always keeps his promises.

“Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass,” is found in Joshua 21:45. This verse comes at the end of Chapter 21 and is in stark contrast the seemingly wild promise God makes to start Chapter 13.

Area in green is what is left to be conquered 

As we open Chapter 13, we find an aged Joshua. The major fortresses have been conquered, but the Philistine corridor in the southwest of Canaan, and in the north, a swath of territory about 50 miles wide which extends about 50 miles north of Damascus still need to be defeated.  With Joshua near death, what will happen next?

God, in his wisdom, intended the 12 tribes to spread out and conquer the remaining areas.  In Joshua 13:6, God says: “I myself will drive them out from before the people of Israel.” 

Doesn’t God’s promise looks a bit wild in light of the task ahead?

But, God’s promises are only as wild as our disbelief. 

As you flip through the coming chapters, there is the allotment of the physical inheritance for all the tribes of Israel.  The allocation of the inheritance took place in two stages. 

The first division comes on Chapters 13-17 and concerns the two and a half tribes, Judah (from which Jesus descended), and the two sons of Joseph (Ephraim and the other half-tribe of Manasseh). 

The second division of the land takes place in Shiloh.  Toward the end of this period of conquest, Israel’s camp was moved from Gilgal to Shiloh in the high country.  A survey was done throughout the land and there is a careful record of the property lines, which we won’t read this morning.  The remaining tribes, Benjamin (18:11-28), Simeon (19:1-9), Zebulun (19:10-16), Issachar (19:17-23), Asher (19:24-31), Naphtali (19:32-39), and Dan (19:40-48) were then given their land by the casting of lots. 

However, the Tribe of Levi receives no land inheritance.

“To the tribe of Levi alone Moses gave no inheritance.  The offerings by fire to the Lord God of Israel are their inheritance.” ( Joshua 13:14)

We read this again in verse 33.  “But to the tribe of Levi Moses gave no inheritance; the Lord God of Israel is their inheritance.”

The Levites were exceptional, but any believing Israelite could have adopted this Levitical perspective.  If they would only realize that above all else, the Lord himself was their inheritance.  Even if the land should be taken away, God could still be God— their God.  I began the message talking about inheritance and God's “wild” promises. 

Did you know that we often struggle with fear, sin, and anger right now because we do not believe the wild promises of God?  Perhaps we don’t realize that somehow, the Spirit is with us, in us, and changing us.

When Christ was sitting with his disciples at the last supper, he told the disciples this wild promise: “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  Yet a little while and the world will see me know more, but you will see me.  Because I live, you also will live” (John 14:18-19).  That is an incredible and wild promise.

And so, we can live with hope, holiness, and love because we see the Spirit dwelling within us.  This is our spiritual inheritance and the seal of an even greater to come.  Our spiritual inheritance is based upon the wild promises of God.