My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Dave Harvey's book, When Sinners Say 'I Do' is a unique book on the topic of marriage. It does not address the problems in marriage as being fundamentally misunderstandings of personality, or a failure to communicate; rather, Harvey points us to the real root of our marital problems--sin.
The subtitle captures the hope for people who will freely admit that they are sinners: "Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage." The typical psychologically based book will give one techniques for manipulation of your spouse to get them to do what you want--this book is refreshing, because it gently helps one understand their own part in the problem.
Harvey writes, "Marriage is joined upon a field of great spiritual battles. But it rests within a war that is already won. Our real opponent is not on the opposite side of the bed, but within our hearts" (pg. 58).
While the book places marriage within a theology, it is a theology that gives hope and practical advice for those who see themselves as sinners. Dave advises the use of mercy, forgiveness, and grace to help our marriages--all elements of which we are recipients in the gospel.
Harvey has a great section on sex which is both discrete and pastoral. He gives us a perspective which is unique: Devotion to one another--a means to serve one another. It is a viewpoint that is not usually taken by most popular marriage self-help books.
Harvey's last chapter is very helpful for those who are preparing to lose a spouse, entitled: When Sinners say Goodbye. A wonderful resource for those who have hope in the gospel.
I would recommend this as a primer for marriage and for marriages that need the restorative influence of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
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